Often times I come and write my thoughts on a word document, but wish that a few of my friends could read them sometimes. Read them for the advice or just knowledge of some of my thoughts. I really get big thoughts in my head when I'm driving alone and I wish that I could just tape record everything I wanted to say because it always seems better in my head than on paper. I've never been much of a writer but whenever it is about my life it gives me a certain sense of peace about everything.
I think I was pretty set on getting my masters because I honestly didn't want the stress yet of finding a job and also my first year of teaching. They say your first year is pretty much your worst and I don't really like being bad at something so that really scares me. I feel for the people around me searching for jobs, while also in relief that I am not under the same pressure.. yet. It's scary to me that next year I will be looking for a job. Will be possibly starting my first classroom.
"Students don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." When I think about students I feel quite confident in myself. I love to love people and care about people, but what if I'm not good enough at showing them how much I do care. The only reason I want to be a teacher is so that I can show love to my students. The teachers that I look back on and I know influenced my life positively always occurred because they created a relationship with me.
Relationships. Is this what we are here for? Being in community? Working to be there for people and allowing people to love us. If this is true, why does it seem so hard sometimes?
P.S. I don't know if any boy can make me love him more than I love Lee James. I think this might be a slight problem.
